Resolutions that don't suck

Merry Christmas you guys! 

Now that Christmas is coming to a close for another year, it is time to put down that mince pie and start thinking about the new year that you are about to embark on.

Because no matter how crappy last year was for you, 2014 has something that 2013 hasn't got:

Potential!

Which is why, at the end of each year, we all feel compelled to come up with a list of things that we are currently failing miserably at with the hope that this will somehow make us more focussed on doing things differently in the new year.

Unfortunately though, notwithstanding best intentions, most people manage maybe a couple of weeks of sticking to their resolutions before going back to their old ways. At least until next year, when they start to think about it all over again.

I have a pretty woeful record myself. Giving up caffeine, going vegan (I ended up doing this but not off the back of a new year's resolution), exercising more, focussing on my career, reading more - all of them managed to keep me interested until about January 5 before the drudgery of day to day life made keeping my new resolutions seem unimportant and, to be honest, a bit of a pain in the arse.

But a few years ago, I decided to take a different approach. I had a pretty massive list of things to change or improve on in the new year. I wanted to do more yoga, eat better, be more organised, try new things, spend more time with friends and family, give more to charity (but do proper research first so my money went where it would help the most), draw, write, dance, sing and read more, see more bands, see more theatre blah blah blah. It was ridiculous. Way too much stuff to focus on for 5 days.

But each one was actually really important to me so I didn't want to just give up on them all together either.

So, rather than set myself up to fail (again) I decided that I would spread them out over the whole year instead. I picked one thing that I wanted to work on for each month of the year. This way, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about something that was on the list just because I hadn't done it in January - I knew I would be getting to it later on in the year (maybe)!

For example, February was all about work - getting more organised, finding out what training sessions were on, looking into getting an executive coach etc. I didn't have to get it all done by a particular date or anything - I just had to think about what I wanted to improve about my work life in February and set a few things in motion. September was devoted to yoga - so I decided I would try to do yoga at least once a day for the whole month (I think I missed three days), tried out different classes and signed up for online classes on YogaGlo so I could do more yoga at home.

So now, each year at the end of December, I make up a big calendar with all the different resolutions set out on it at the start of the year and I stick it up in my office. All year long I look at it to see what was coming up or maybe what I had accidentally skipped (oops!). Sometimes I might even get really excited about it - like the month that was all about culture where I got to book tickets to see lots of different plays, bands, talks etc that were coming up. The month about getting my finances in order, on the other hand, wasn't such a joy.

It isn't always a total success - some resolutions get pretty much ignored - but it was definitely better than the attempts I had made in previous years where I set one of two huge resolutions that take effect from 1 January. And because I get to keep doing things all year long, it is far more achievable and balanced than the usual approach.

So, of course, this year, I am doing it again! Here is what I have got so far:

This year is all about integrating my yoga teaching with the rest of my life. So the whole of January is dedicated to setting this up (as much as possible). I usually do health stuff in January because I feel so crappy after indulging so much of the holidays, but I need to get my business in order first. 

Would love to hear if anyone else has big new year resolutions planned - or if anyone takes up my year of resolutions idea. Drop me a line in the comments. 

Oh and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 

xx 

A very yogi christmas!

It is a poorly kept secret of mine that I absolutely LOVE christmas. To give you an idea of how much I love it, I have been listening to christmas songs since November - as I do every year (this was a rule imposed by my dad - because otherwise we would start listening to them in, like, July).

So you might be thinking (hopefully) what would a yogi like me (and especially me) want to receive under his or her christmas tree? Well, you are in luck!!! Because this post is totally dedicated to helping you pick the perfect gift for the yogi in your life!

And if you think that this is a carefully constructed ruse to give a massive hint to people re what *I* would like for christmas? Yeah - you are probably right. But hopefully it helps some others out too. I live to serve after all.

1. Yogeeks Apparel - all the things!

I have only recently found out about Yogeeks Apparel - one of the owners of this awesome yoga and vegan friendly clothing line is involved in a new project that I am part of, Yoga in the Park. They are a Sydney-based business that makes wicked-cool clothes for yogis. Just reading their mission statement makes me swoon:

"We’re all about making compassion fashionable. We test our yoga clothing on yogis, not animals & are dedicated practitioners of ahimsa (non-harming) in our own lives & throughout every stage of our design & production process."

Awesome, right? There are so many things that I want on their website. But to get the most bang for your buck, how about spoiling your yogi with a multi-pack? My choice is the muscle tee multi pack (4 muscle tees in the latest, coolest prints) but there are tank and singlet multipacks too. What better way to start off what will no doubt be a long term affair with this ethical, kickass design house? 

2. Namaste, b*tches!  

Not for every yogi, but I think this tote (available through Cafe Press) is rad. 

3. The ultimate mat

I have more than one mat already. So technically, I don't need another one. BUT if you really, really wanted to buy me (sorry - your "friend") a new mat, please let it be this one. And in Acai purple, please. Thaaaaaanks!

This is a Manduka Eko - it is like the legendary Manduka PRO and is uber durable and grippy but made from sustainable, eco-friendly  natural rubber. Plus, purple! 

4. Flop your flips to class

What better way to get to class than in a pair of flip flops that are made from yoga mats? Yep - Sanuk Yoga Mat flip flops are made from yoga mats, are vegan and are THE most comfortable flip flops I have ever worn (and as an Australian who lived most of her life on the coast, I am somewhat of a flip flop aka thongs connoisseur). I bought a pair in Hawaii but if you would really like to buy me (I mean your friend!!) a pair, this pair in brown look FAB!

5. Your in-house yogalebrity

I know - in an ideal world, you would like to be able to give your friend me for christmas (meaning private yoga classes with me, of course!) But the next best thing is surely to do yoga in the lounge room with yogi extraordinaire, Tara Stiles. Easy-peasy. And relatively cheap too!

I was lucky enough to do a class with Tara when I was in New York earlier this year and visited her beautiful studio, Strala Yoga. Her feel-good flowing classes are all centred around the idea of moving with ease - something I have focussed on in my own practice and teaching since. Her DVDs are an excellent way to bring some of this sweetness into a home practice and are ideal for someone who is just getting started. So if you are buying for a yogi newbie, this set of 4 DVDs is the ticket!

6. Super hot pants

Sexy pants make yoga more fun. Sexy pants made from recycled water bottles make yoga fun and lets you feel super-smug because not only are you a sexy yogi, you are also environmentally friendly. Doesn't your yogi loved-one deserve to feel sexy, fun and smug? Yeah? Then grab them a pair of these Teeki pants!

I have a couple of pairs and I LOVE them. They feel amazing, fit great, are a flattering cut, super comfortable and always elicit lovely compliments from my fellow yogis. I have the Clouds Hot Pant and Mermaid Goddess Capris, but this cheetah print (called Awakening) is the next on my wish-list. I am sure yogi in your life would love them too!

7. Ahimsa* assistance

Shopping for a vegan or vegan-curious yoga buddy? Give them a helping hand by buying them a gorgeous vegan cook book! There are heaps out there, but I am going to suggest this new one, Veganissimo, by Sydney-based vegan cook, Leigh Drew. I picked it because I have been lucky enough to have eaten Leigh's yummo vegan cooking before and can attest that it is AMAZING!

*Not sure what Ahimsa is or what is so yogi about it? Well, ahimsa is one of the five yamas or restrictions that form the first of the eight limbs of yoga. It essentially translates to "non-violence" and while it encompasses many practices such as abstaining from violence in all forms (i.e. violent actions, words and even thoughts), it is often interpreted as not only meaning you should not harm other humans, but also not harming all other animals too. Which is why many yogis are also vegetarian or vegan.

8. The "Ohmygoddess I love you more than my Lululemon Wunder Under pants" gift 

This is the absolute ultimate yogi gift. Like, you will get so many karma credits for this puppy that you could probably get away with killing someone and still be in the black. Well not really because ahimsa, you guys! But you get my point. This is pretty massive.

The yoga retreat!!!

There are many of these, but I would LOVE to go to this one in Ubud, Bali next year which is being put on by my fave yoga studio, House of Yoga. A week long retreat of yoga goodness at Michael Franti's Soulshine Oasis Retreat Centre.

Drool. I can't imagine anything more magical!


But remember, while all these gifts are shiny and pretty (and feel free to buy me ANY of them!) christmas is a perfect time to celebrate all of the gifts that you already have - because you already have everything you need to be happy residing within you. So surround yourself with love, be grateful for everything this beautiful life bestows on us, and smile a lot. It will give you so much more than even a week in paradise can! (Although, there is nothing to say that you can't practice gratitude and smile lots while at a retreat wearing sexy pants and practicing asana on your lovely new mat... arm, right?"

xox Namaste! ;)

Hot tips for yoga newbies

One thing that I would really love to achieve with teaching yoga is to make yogis out of people who may not have thought yoga was for them.  I want to convert the gym bunnies, the buff boys (ALL the buff boys!), the couch potatoes, the suits, those who think they are too old, too big, too generally unbendy - anyone with a body basically.

But before that can happen, these people have to feel like they can turn up to the mat - to take their first yoga class. And when they do, they can't feel too self-conscious, awkward or otherwise out of place - otherwise they will probably never come back!

Because, yes, yoga can be a bit intimidating to the uninitiated. It has its own language. The way you move your body through poses is different to most other forms of exercise that you may have tried. There are no winners or losers. There is a LOT of lycra. The classes seem to be full of mostly women. Young women. Young, thin, flexible, white women.

Ok - maybe I am one of these women. But seriously - yoga is for you too!!!! 

You can be forgiven if you think it is all just too weird and have decided it is not for you.

But I swear to you - if you have a body and are willing to move it, yoga IS for you! It will make you feel amazing. Change the way you breathe. Make your mind calmer. Create a sense of peace that you never thought possible. Its ability to transform has to be experienced to be believed - but it is something that people all over the world, men and women of different ages, sizes and ethnicities, experience over and over again. And you can too.

So - the first thing you have to do is turn up to a class. And I thought I would make this easier for you by arming you with a few useful bits of information to help you through your first class with minimal damage. If you have these covered, at the very least, your experience will not be an unnecessarily embarrassing one. And my hope is, by taking potential humiliation out of the equation, you are far more likely to be able to enjoy the class and take in the whole experience.

Tip 1. What are you wearing?
It is true that about 90% of the people in class will be wearing leggings from Lululemon. Not sure what Lululemon even is? Don't worry - it isn't some weird, yogi cult that will try to convert you. Kinda. It is a ridiculously popular brand of fitness apparel that, while expensive, makes pretty awesome leggings. For this reason, a lot of yogis seem to live in Lululemon leggings.

But don't worry - buying a pair of $100+ leggings is not mandatory attire. Almost any leggings, shorts or tracksuit pants that allow you to move freely will do - but with a few very important caveats:

• While shorts are fine, try to avoid wearing the really short loose ones that you would normally wear running. You will most likely be doing movements that cause your shorts to gape - potentially exposes your - well - everything to the class. Not pleasant - for you or your classmates that happen to have your crotch at their eyeline! If the only thing you own are short and baggy shorts, maybe wear boxers or boy-leg underwear to minimise indecent exposure. But please - for the love of everyone - wear underpants of some description! I have seen more than a few, erm, "love-spuds" drop out the side of a pair of baggy shorts in class and it was mildly traumatising. 
• Leggings are obviously great for yoga - they are stretchy and allow lots of movement. That's why  they are the choice for most women (and some guys) to practice in. However, before you head to class, check out the back view in the mirror. Now, bend over and make sure the extra stretching that this requires of your leggings hasn't just rendered them entirely see-through. Given that most women choose to wear g-strings under their leggings, if they go transparent when you bend over, you are basically going to show everyone behind you a full shot of your arse. If you haven't got any alternatives, again try putting on some more substantial underpants that are the same colour as your leggings so people won't really see much. Or chuck shorts over the top for extra coverage.
• Check out the description of the class that you are going to - does it say it is a "hot" class or is it Bikram? There is a reason those photos of Bikram always have girls in what appear to be bikinis. You are going to sweat. A lot! You don't have to wear hot pants - especially if this will make you feel self-conscious - but similarly you don't want to wear fleece tracksuit pants. Cropped leggings or bike shorts work fine. 

And for your top half - wear anything you like. Be aware that occasionally you will be hanging upside down though so if you are wearing a baggy top it will lift up. Wear a nice crop top underneath or you aren't comfortable doing that, wear a more fitted tank or t-shirt. Again, be aware of whether the class will be heated and wear something lighter if it is.

Oh - and yoga is done barefoot. So leave the shoes and socks at the door.

Tip 2. Where will you set up? 
When you are new at anything, it is tempting to go waaaaaaaaaaay up the back of the class where no one can see you bumble your way through.

And I get that - I totally do. It makes sense that you don't want to be in the very front row. But if you can summon up the courage to go in maybe the second or third row, you are probably going to be able to follow the class a lot better.

Feeling like an idiot in front of other people is not fun. And trying something new for the first time - especially as an adult - is guaranteed to make you feel like an idiot for at least some of the time. But if you can actually see the instructor - and they can see you - you are going to look like less of an idiot than if you just hide at the back, not knowing what is going on.

Also, because yoga is a personal journey and isn't a competitive pursuit, I can almost guarantee that the other people in class are not watching you. Everyone will be focussed on their own pose and on their own bodies. The only ones who will be looking at others with be the other newbies and they won't be looking at you either - they will be looking at the teacher or at the more advanced yogis in the room so they can see what they are meant to be doing too.

So set up as close to the front as you can, making sure you can see the teacher, and relax. Nobody's looking!

Tip 3. What are they doing?
Which brings us to the actual class itself. When you get there, it is a good idea to introduce yourself to the teacher and let them know that you haven't done yoga before. This way they can tell you a little bit about how they structure the class and what you can expect. They will also be able to keep an eye out for you during class to make sure you aren't freaking out or doing damage to yourself.

Then you find a place for your mat (not at the back!!!) and try as much as possible to follow the teacher's instructions.

Which sounds easy. But, as I mentioned earlier, there will be weird moves going on that are probably unlike anything you've done before. So what happens if you get completely lost or tangled up in your own limbs?

Well first - don't panic!! Unravel yourself as much as possible and breathe. If you are totally lost, just take downward facing dog or child's pose until the class moves to the next pose. If you were doing fine until the teacher started adding on some fancy-pants options - go back to the pose you were in before you got lost and enjoy that pose. The other stuff can come later on. This also applies if you are feeling intense pain (i.e. more than just that nice ache of a stretching muscle and ANY pain in a joint) in any pose. I know - you want to prove that you can do EVERYTHING right NOW! But it is your first class - so be easy on yourself and accept that yoga, like everything in life, might take a little while to get used to. Battling your ego like this is one of the most important lessons that yoga will teach you. So by taking a step back and sticking with the simpler pose you are actually being a totally awesome yogi. Yay you!!!!

And remember - falling over is always an option! It just means you are working past your comfort zone. :)

If you are really nervous about the poses, maybe check out a few yoga websites or youtube clips to make yourself familiar with some of the more common poses. Yoga Journal is a great resource for getting a breakdown of all the poses.

Also, at the end of every class you will be asked to lie down in "Savasana" with your eyes closed. And you do just that - you lie down and do nothing for 5 or so minutes. It is amazing! But you may not think so when you are just starting. You might get bored, impatient, frustrated - all these things are normal. We aren't used to being asked to just do nothing. Every other part of our life tells us to do more things. But not here. Try to stay still. If you find it hard to keep your eyes closed, maybe put your towel or jumper over your eyes. If your mind runs on overtime - that is ok. It will get easier to slow your thinking down over time. For now, you biggest battle will just be to stay still for the full 5 minutes without going crazy. Count your breath maybe. Focus on your heartbeat. Just enjoy the fact that you don't have to do anything for the next little while.

Tip 4. What was that all about? 
It is possible that you will not enjoy your first class and that your instinct will be to never bother with it again. But please, PLEASE give it at least one more shot. Maybe try a different teacher, a different studio or a different style of yoga. There are so many different options out there now and one of them is bound to tickle your fancy.

Too boring? Try a power yoga class (these tend to be more dynamic and so are stronger and move faster). Too hard or you just couldn't keep up? Try a Hatha or  Iyengar class (these tend to hold poses longer and use props to help you get into proper alignment so can be a good introduction for beginners). Tried Bikram and couldn't stand the heat? Try any of the other types of yoga that aren't heated. Didn't mind the yoga but the teacher really irked you? Check out one of the MILLIONS of teachers that will also be teaching in your hood and just dying to teach you.

I honestly believe that there are enough options out there for everyone to find their yoga nirvana. Not literally of course. Well - not unless you start taking your yoga REALLY seriously and maybe move to a cave in the Himalayas or India. But your yoga happy place is out there somewhere - you just need to give it a chance!

Good luck, yogi newbies!!!! And if you have any questions that I haven't addressed here - please leave me a comment and I will try and answer as best I can.

xx

The battles of others

November is here which means my October challenge is over. And I can not say that it was a total success.

I knew that it would be hard - not gossiping or saying negative things for a whole month. What I didn't appreciate was that it would be, in fact, impossible! I don't think I managed a day with out some kind of bitchy or judgemental comment slipping from my mouth. Also, after setting the challenge for myself, I became aware of just how often this caustic thoughts come up - basically all the time!

I could write these thoughts off as just harmless observations. Or that it is natural - something we are all prone to doing. But I don't honestly believe that. I do think that we all do it. But I don't agree it is harmless nor do I think it is natural. Because usually, when I have these thoughts, and especially when I feel the need to vocalise them, it is an indication of some kind of personal insecurity.

Just because this challenge was not a huge success does not mean that it was a waste of time. To begin with, when I would catch myself saying something bitchy or gossipy, I would chastise myself for failing at my challenge. But when I realised just how hard the challenge would be, I decided to change the way I looked at the challenge. So instead of making it all about avoiding these thoughts and comments, each time one came up I would check myself - question where the thought was coming from, what it perhaps said about me and how I was feeling about myself - be it my looks, intelligence, success, character etc.

Sometimes, the answer was obvious. I would comment on someone else acting in an aggressive way at work (i.e. "Wow - she is such a bitch! What is her problem? She obviously has issues.") because I was thinking that she disapproved of me personally or thought I wasn't worthy of her time, and I was trying to reassure myself that her attitude towards me wasn't about me and that it was all about her. Which might be true. But it is beside the point. I felt the need to say something about her because I was worried about my own personality or performance at work. When I realised it was all about me, I was less likely to continue engaging in gossip or complaining/

Other times, I wasn't sure what it was about particular behaviour that would inspire me to lash out. It seemed to not have any real impact on my life at all. But if this was the case, why was I letting it bring negative thoughts up and then to spill out of my mouth and into the world? Often, just questioning myself like this made me lose interest in engaging in the gossip any longer.

The other thing that has really helped me through this challenge has been this quote (who is often attributed to Plato but this seems to be questionable):

When you remember that other people - people you are whinging or bitching about - will have some bigger struggle going on in their life that will not doubt be so much greater than the superficial thing you are commenting on. And when you turn your mind to this fact, it it reminds you that the person you are gossiping about is a human being. And even if they are doing something that seems abhorrent to you, you really don't know what is going on in their life - what their struggle is. And, chances are, they are just trying to do the best they can in spite of this.

Of course, being aware of this won't help their struggle anyway, but it did tend to stop my negative bitching in its tracks. It was replaced with empathy instead. And kindness. And a much better mindset. So it might not help them, but it sure as hell helped me!

I haven't picked a November challenge. I have just finished my yoga teacher training (more on this later!!!) and am preoccupied with exciting thoughts for the future and where I will take these new skills. So maybe I will give myself a break this month. Other than to make the most of every single opportunity that comes my way. Actually - that is my challenge! To say "yes" more often! :)

Namaste. xox

Doing what you know you should

I am almost at the end of a 10 day detox. Day 9 in fact. No dairy, no alcohol (neither of which I have anyway), no sugar (eep!) and no caffeine (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!!!!). Plus yoga classes every day (not a big change, but it did mean that I had to go to 6.30am classes to make sure that I didn't miss a day - so, no more sleep-ins and more EEEEEEEEEP!!!!)

So why do this?

Well, at teacher training the other week we were asked to make a couple of lists: one of things that support our wellbeing (stuff like yoga, meditation, eating well, getting plenty of sleep, reading, laughing, practising gratitude, spending time with positive people) and the other of things that don't support our wellbeing (drinking coffee, sleeping in, eating junk, gossiping, procrastinating, negative self-talk, spending time with toxic people).

Seeing all these things written down really got me thinking - given that was so easy for me to come up with these lists, why don't I do more of the things on the first list, and waaaaay less of the things on the second list?

The answer is the same for me as it is for all of us - comfort. Even though I know that sticking with my current habits doesn't make me feel as great as I could feel, I get comfort from them. Like when I am feeling down on myself, so to make myself feel better I decide to treat myself - I skip yoga, eat pizza and chocolate and read trashy gossip magazines until late. Then I sleep in the next morning (again skipping yoga and meditation), drink coffee to stay awake all day and feel even worse about myself. Which is all my fault, because I am stupid and awful and deserve to feel this crappy. Sound familiar? Well it sounds really familiar to me because I do it way too much!

When my yoga studio (the totally wonderful House of Yoga in Redfern) announced that it was launching a 10 Day Push, I decided it would be the kick up the butt I needed to change things up a bit. And change them for the better!

And as I come to the end of the 10 days, I have to admit - I feel amazing! I have been getting up really early, feeling awake all day, eating well, sleeping well, my mood is more stable, I am more focussed, happier, grateful... I seem to be attracting more positive, supportive people into my life too.  All in just 9 days!?!?!

It's true - day one was tough. I had headaches and was in a major brain-fog all day. And yes, it sucks when I walk to work and the whole of the city seems to be enjoying delicious smelling coffee. Or when I walk past the cup cake stall on my way to buy lunch. But it has not been impossible. And every day that I stick to the plan, I am supporting my wellbeing and choosing to happiness. Even on rough days, I am in the best possible place to deal with the challenges I am thrown.

Ok - so maybe I am still in the euphoric, honeymoon stage. There is only one way to find out for sure - to keep it all up even after the 10 days are over!!

Wish me luck!
xoxo

Hear no evil, say no evil

My 30 day challenge for September went really well - I managed to fit my yoga and meditation in on 28 of the 30 days - and for many of the days I did it longer than I had committed to.

Even better - I have kept it up so far even though it is now October. 

But that doesn't mean that I haven't set a new challenge for the new month! While I admit that October did kind of creep up on me and I didn't have a challenge until the 2nd (which I figure is ok cos there are 31 days in October!), I have managed to come up with a doozy! 

Inspiration actually hit me at the hairdressers (it takes over two hours for me to keep my roots in check so I had a lot of time to think). One of my guilty pleasures at the hairdressers is to read those really trashy magazines. I used to buy them myself but found they were so full of negativity and hatefulness that I just didn't need in my life so I stopped. But at the hairdresser, I let myself flip through them and look at all the pretty people (and try to ignore all the stuff about who has put on too much weight, who has lost too much weight, who looks ugly without makeup, who is losing their boyfriend/ husband/ dignity). This week, pretty much every single magazine had Miley Cyrus on the front. 

There is a lot going on with the whole Miley thing, and I am not going to go into it here. I didn't read the articles but there were a bunch of photos of her (stills from her latest video and her VMA performance), her now ex-fiance Liam and his new girlfriend (I think) so I am guessing it was something to do with the breakdown of her relationship. I looked at the photos for a bit before flicking on to the next pages where all the red carpet fashion shots were (my favourite part of the trash mags). The woman next to me though, who was reading the same mags, clearly found the story about Miley far more upsetting (although I doubt she read the article either - I mean, does anyone?). 

"Oh gawd! Just *look* at her, would you!" she exclaimed, "No wonder Liam left her! Would you want your girlfriend dressing like that? She looks like a total skank!" 

This kind of a reaction is not unusual. I have probably thought - maybe even said - things like this about celebrities before myself. But hearing it like that, it just suddenly struck me how awful and useless this kind of gossip was. Seeing a photo or two, making a snap decision and assumptions about someone you don't really know and casting dispersions about who they are (and it is seldom something nice like, "Oh, I bet she is really nice to her granny!"  or "She has great teeth - she must floss a lot!") - all it serves is to put negativity out into the world. And to what end? To show your concern? Doubtful. To feel superior to the person you are gossiping about and make you feel better about yourself? Far more likely. 

Whether you are saying it about a celebrity or someone you know, when you engage in nasty gossip, not only are you being unnecessarily mean, it actually exposes parts of yourself that you are probably trying to hide. Why do you feel the need to point out how much weight someone has put on? Why do you like to tell people about someone's relationship failures? Why are you so interested in this piece of gossip that you feel the need to vocalise it and spread it to others? Maybe you don't want to think about those things. Because it is a LOT easier to just point and judge others than to look inside to see what might be really upsetting you.

Ok - that sounds really preachy, doesn't it? So let's get something straight. I gossip. I don't even know how much but probably a lot. I get caught up in it at work, with friends, with family, at yoga - everywhere that people meet up and chat, there is gossip and I am just as susceptible to it as anyone else. And, given I used to pride myself on being a totally caustic bitch, I can be pretty cutting if I really get caught up in it. It is not pretty at all. 

But, for the month of October, I am not going to gossip. 

Given that I am often not actually aware that I am gossiping until it is too late, this is going to be one tough-arse challenge! I am not even sure exactly where the line is just between observation or a meaningful discussion and actual, proper gossip. I just kind of feel like it is something I get involved in too often and it is something where, when I witness it or catch myself in the middle of it, I really don't like what I hear. 

Source: www.radicalimprov.net

I don't expect I will be able to meet this challenge 100 per cent. I think I will probably slip into the habit quite a bit in fact. But when I do, I am going to try to catch myself, stop, and then think about what it is that has made me say the things I am saying. What does this gossip say about me, my fears and my challenges? Does the person I am gossiping about represent something I dislike in myself? Someone I wish I could be more like but that I am too scared to be? 

I am hoping that, by being more aware of the things I say over the next month, this will lead to me gossiping less and generally being a nicer person. Which sounds good, right? And again, will let you know on FaceBook how I am progressing. 

Wish me luck!!! 

Losing my identity

So I am slowly starting to lose my identity. And honestly, this is a good thing.

Say whaaat? Let me explain.

For many years, I was "the angry girl". I am pretty sure it started off just as a defence mechanism, carefully constructed so I could survive high school. And it was successful in achieving this. Basically, I would respond to my detractors - some bullies (including some teachers) but also I am guessing a few kids who may have been genuinely nice but who I hastily assessed as being hostile - with bitchy, acerbic comebacks. And to avoid them bothering me at all, I took on a generally a moody/ angry disposition. I had some friends, but even they were kept at a bit of a distance and treated them with suspicion - because I never fully believed that they actually liked me. I figured I must have served some secondary purpose for their own high school survival. And that was fine by me.

High school can be a tough time. And just getting out the other end in one piece is a sign of success. But, unfortunately, I started to forget that I had created this identity (angry, sarcastic, depressed, dark etc etc) and it became a big part of who I thought I was.

Me as a teen - getting my angst on!

When bad things happened in my life, it reinforced my negative outlook and my general distrust of people. When good - even great! - things happened to me, whether in my relationships, study, work or whatever, I always assumed they were flukes and they were temporary.  I actually believed if too many good things were happening, then something really bad was coming just around the corner. So I could never enjoy the good. It just made me feel even more uneasy and anxious about my life.

As weird as it might seem, I wanted to stay feeling this way. I wanted to feel sad, depressed, angry or dissatisfied. This was what felt comfortable and familiar. Even though it wasn't serving me, I always found ways to bring me back to the same place.

While this might have been familiar and comfortable for me, as I am sure you can imagine, it was not a happy way to live a life! But I told myself, and everyone else that is just who I am. And so I continued.

Until I finally I had enough. I didn't want to be miserable anymore. Or anxious. Or bitchy. I wanted to be happy, damn it!!!

To begin with, I searched for happiness in the usual ways - looking for quick-fixes through self-help books, food, excessive exercising, buying shiny things, searching for "success" at work. But the problem with quick-fixes is that their effects are quick too - they never created a permanent state of happiness and always lead me to searching for something more. And always searching outside of myself.

I was lucky enough to find my way to yoga while sifting through all of these happiness solutions. I originally looked to it as a form of exercise that was kinder to my body than the abuse I had been putting it through at the gym. It also happened to make me feel better too. Pretty soon it was the only kind of exercising I was doing. Taking all these yoga classes, I saw all these beautiful, blissed-out yogis teaching all my classes and I wanted some of what they had. I wanted to be a blissful, glowy yogi too!  So I decided to go further with my yoga practice - to start understanding and applying the more spiritual aspects rather than just the physical.

Me on yoga - all the happy!

And this is when real change started to happen. When I started setting aside some of my attachments to who I thought I was -  the stories I told myself and the world to explain why my life was so hard - I was nervous that I would lose who I *really* was. Which I thought was the sad girl that I had become so comfortable being. But instead of losing an essential part of myself (which is what I had convinced myself all this misery and anger was), I started to look at where this identity had come from. And I began to realise that none of it was my true nature - these parts of my personality were all external to who I really am. Through yoga - especially meditation - I was able start seeing things as they actually are, not how I had just always assumed they are.

This is the real magic, and arguably the purpose, of yoga: self-realisation through looking inward - not to those things that are external to us - and, ultimately, attaining an infinite state of peace.

Obviously, I have a long way to go on this path. I am only just beginning to move away from identifying myself with my limitations and from trying to find happiness through external means. But I am already noticing positive shifts. I am calmer. I am able to deal with change without as much anxiety. I don't obsess over the negatives and dismiss the positives.

Things are looking up, and my journey has only just begun!!

Namaste xox

Up for the challenge?

Have you seen this great TED Talk by Matt Cuts where he asks us to try something new for 30 days?

The idea of committing to something for a month - whether it be growing a moustache or not drinking - is not exactly new. But watching this talk really inspired me.

I always have these grand - and some not so grand - plans in my head: things I have always wanted to do, habits I have wanted to break, routines that I have wanted to start. There are always so many of them, though, that I often feel too overwhelmed and end up doing none of them. Or if I do start them, I do it in a half-arsed way.

That is why this talk makes so much sense. You just pick one thing and then you commit yourself to it for the next 30 days. And then the next month, you can choose something different.

The great thing about 30 days is it is short enough not to intimidate, but it is long enough to start making a real change in your life. (Or, if it doesn't work out, you haven't really wasted that much time either.)

So how transformative can one month be?

Well, it was because of a 30 day challenge that I set myself 2 years ago that I was able to make the shift from vegetarian to vegan. I had made a couple of previous attempts at going vegan. Each time I started, I assumed it was the beginning of a life-long change. And I would go ok for a week or so, but then something would come up - I would be at an event where I had forgotten to tell people I my dietary requirements, or I was eating out with friends and there weren't any vegan options on the menu (I now know better than to just rely on menus and always ask restaurants what they can do for me or I ask them to change an existing vegetarian meal by ditching the cheese). Whatever it was, it suddenly all seemed to hard, I would start making exceptions (only when I eat out) or excuses (it is just too hard) and then I would be back to where I began.

But, when I decided in 2011 that I would eat only plant-based for the whole of July, there was no need for excuses or exceptions. Because giving up eggs and dairy for 30 days (or 31 in my case) didn't seem like that big of a deal. And because I wasn't stressed about it, I was able to enjoy the experience. I ordered my first ever vegan pizza, found vegan cupcakes and tried vegan chocolate and I also started asking cafes and restaurants to make things vegan for me. And by August, it was done. I was a vegan!

Once you realise that vegan chocolate exists - and is delicious, it isn't so hard.

With today being the first day of spring, I felt inspired to set myself a new challenge. I have decided to make September all about yoga (surprise!). Given that I will be a qualified yoga teacher by the end of October (fingers crossed), I want to put a nice, regular yoga practice into place so that I will have a strong platform to build on when I start teaching.

So, for each day in September I will be doing at least 45 minute asana practice and 10 minutes of meditation. My intention is to wake up earlier to get my practice done before the day even starts. But even if I don't manage that, I will be doing it before I go to bed. Every. Day. For 30 days.

Sadly, I won't be yoga-ing with these views every morning :(

Wish me luck! I will be giving updates on my Facebook page if you want to follow along. And feel free to join in - I would love to hear from others about their successes and experiences!

Namaste xox

A little bit of happy

Wouldn't it be nice if every time we felt a bit down, we could just take the day off work and head to the beach? Or better yet, make it a week and head overseas to some island where you can let go of your bad mood and bliss out in the sun?

Sadly, that isn't an option for 99.99% of us. When we wake up in a bit of a fog or just feeling low, we have drag ourselves up and out to our daily lives - work, kids  - whatever our commitments, they tend not to be things that can just wait until we are in a better mood.

So, what can we do?

Well, over time, I have come up with a bunch of small things that I can do that cost next to nothing (and in some cases are totally free!) and that can just make things seem a little brighter. Some might seem obvious, others ridiculous, but I thought I would share them anyway, just in case there is something in there that might help you out the next time you are feeling a bit crappy.

• Duh - I do some yoga! Whether it be going to a full class, doing some invigorating poses before I get dressed in the morning (and yes, occasionally in my office if the mood takes me) or taking time to do some breathing exercises and/or meditation. Yoga brings our focus back inside, away from external stressors and even away from our own thoughts. So it is particularly great to do if your mood is connected to an event, a person or your environment or if it is driven by negative thoughts that are running on repeat through your mind. By tuning back into your self through yoga, you can create some space between you and the cause of your mood - almost like a circuit-breaker - so you can start to see things more clearly and start moving forward. 

• I wear bright coloured socks. Ok - so this one probably seems a bit daft. But bright, cute socks totally make me happy! It is only a recent discovery, too. For ages, I would just buy (or steal my husband's) plain, mostly black socks because I figured this made it easier to always find a pair. But so boring!!! And then for some reason, I think it was during a big sale, I decided I would buy a pack of 3 Happy Socks socks which were multicoloured and a mix of spots and stripes. Since then, I have never gone back to black socks. It isn't like you can see them when I wear them because they are normally hidden by my boots or jeans. But I know that under all of that, there is a pair of brightly coloured, spotty socks. And that just makes me ridiculously happy. I own so many different pairs now - tie-dyed, hot pink animal print, little hamster faces - the cuter and brighter the better!

Source: www.pagesdigital.com

•  I take a nice, long hot bath. Sometimes, even just promising myself that I will have a nice, long hot bath when I get home can get me through a crappy day. Of course, it only works if I then follow-through with my promise! And I make the most of it - candles, bath salts, play my favourite music, put on a face mask (the steam from the bath can actually help the mask sink in and be even more effective) and plenty of time to just lie there and do nothing but soak in the goodness. It is something that I like to do on a Sunday evening - I tend to have the time then to really make the most of it and it makes me feel ready for the week. I especially recommend this if you get the "Sunday evening dread" - that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you realise that the weekend is almost over and that you have to face a perhaps unpleasant job for the next 5 days. (Also, maybe consider changing jobs - because Sunday evening dreads are, in my experience, a sign that something is not right at work.)

Source: www.topdog4me.com

• I listen to some old tunes and dance like I'm a teenager. When I am feeling good, doing something that makes me super happy, I don't *feel* like I am in my 30s. It is only when I am stressed out or feeling bummed that I feel my age - or sometimes even older. So I tap into those carefree younger days by putting on something old school, sing along really loud and dance, dance, dance! (Or, if I am listening to grunge, I kind of mosh about the house and maybe even air guitar a bit.) But, while this is heaps of fun and a great stress-reliever, if you are going to do this, it is VERY important to make sure you are on your own and no-one is likely to walk in on you. Because it could be hard to explain.

Source: www.sirensofsong.com

• I hang out with my cats. Sometimes I just need a bit of time out away from other people so I can recharge. But I never feel the need to spend less time with my cats. Because cats are great. They just want food, sleep and cuddles. And so long as you don't forget the food, they will give you all the love you could ever ask for. Just sitting on the couch, surrounded by my furry little guys makes me ridiculously happy. (I am pretty sure it will work with dogs too - dogs will lavish you with undivided attention and unconditional love, like you are the most wonderful person in the world. Pretty hard to stay unhappy with that kind of energy around you!)
  

So those are a few of the things that make me ridiculously happy. And I try to do them as often as possible - but especially when I'm feeling a little less than awesome. 

Would love to hear your own happy tricks - what do you to bring the smiles on? 

Teacher traps

Since starting my yoga teacher training course, I have been paying a lot more attention to how different teachers conduct their classes. Mostly I am hoping to pick up tips and alignment cues that I can maybe weave into my own teaching. But, it turns out, I have also been picking up on a lot of things that I definitely do NOT want to incorporate into my classes.

So here's a list of my top 5 things that a yoga teacher (including me eventually) shouldn't do:

1. Agressive adjustments
This is number one because it is super-duper important to me - especially since one particular adjustment gave me a very painful injury that took months to get better. I was in a wide-legged forward bend - quite happily staying at the edge where the stretch felt strong but not uncomfortable. And then the overly-helpul teacher decided to push my chest closer to the ground - and kept going until there was an audible "pop" from within my hip socket. Not a dislocation, but a pretty nasty torn muscle at the insertion point. Ouch!

And I have heard similar stories of woe from other students - theirs may not have had such serious consequences, but they have definitely made them feel unsafe.

Not cool.

A good teacher asks before they start adjusting and don't feel the need to push their students beyond their limits. And this way, nobody gets hurt.

2. Making students feel inferior
My favourite teachers all have one thing in common - their vibe is friendly, relatable and down to earth.  They have a way of making everyone in the class feel at ease by meeting them on their level - they aren't trying to create a relationship where they have a lofty status above their students.

But then there are those teachers who seem to have purposefully cultivated a superior yogi air about them - like they have all the answers and you should be extremely grateful that they are teaching you. They have a very particular idea of what a "real" yogi should be and drop little comments throughout the class that make you feel like you have a long way to go before you will ever be one. Basically, they are condescending towards their class.

One of the common ways that this can happen (and I really don't think the teachers intend this to make their students feel inferior) is the over-use of the sanskrit names for poses. It is great to know all the names, and amazing if you can pronounce them properly, but if you just say "down dog" instead of "adho mukha svanasana", your students are going be a lot less confused.

Maybe it is ego. Maybe they think they are just giving the students what they want. But, as a student, feeling inferior, intimidated or just plain confused doesn't tend to make a class enjoyable or help make you a better yogi. It just makes you feel bad. Which is like the total opposite of what yoga should do!

3. Teaching yoga likes it's a workout
A common criticism of modern yoga is that it has become too much like a gym workout - that the focus is just on using the poses to create the perfect "yoga body".

Personally, I think it is ok if a yoga class is taught with a strong physical focus - whether it be through a continuously moving vinyasa flow or through a series of powerful poses designed to tone and strengthen (maybe even dropping in a few cheeky push-ups or ab exercises). Creating a strong, healthy body is one of the aims of a regular asana practice and if you get that through a vigorous or strong class, I think that is great!

But some teachers do take this too far. They race through sun salutations with the aim of increasing their students' heart-rates, but go so fast that the students can't keep up, or can only keep the pace by compromising their alignment, breathing or both. The same goes for strengthening poses that are held for a crazy-long time.

Heart-rates can be raised and bodies can be strengthened without pushing students beyond their limits. If the majority of the class is struggling to keep up, maybe it is a good idea to slow it down or come out the pose early - even if it means modifying the rest of the class a little.

4. Showing off 
It always amazes me when I am in a mixed level class and out of nowhere the teacher jumps into, say Astavakrasana, without explaining how to get into the pose or breaking it down. Afterwards, ignoring the confused and bewildered faces of their students, they go back to teaching as if nothing has happened. Basically, it seems as though the only reason they have included the pose is so that they can show everyone that they can do it. Bragging is so not yoga!

Another thing that bugs me is when teachers teach students a really advanced pose that the majority of the class just aren't ready for. Throwing a more challenging pose into class is great - especially if it is taught with lots of options for all levels in the class. If the majority of the class aren't advanced or confident enough to try it out and will just end up sitting on their mats and watching on as a couple students - or worse just the instructor - attempt the pose, then it is probably best to leave it out. Or - my personal preference - teach lots of options so that everyone can have a go and maybe even discover that they are capable of doing a pose that previously seemed impossible.

5. Making ridiculous claims
Yoga has been proven to have many amazing benefits - helping with chronic pain, reducing stress, improving sleep, increasing flexibility and strength, improving moods - all legitimate claims. But sometimes teachers come out with some seriously crazy claims that I am pretty certain have not been proven in clinical trials.

One of my favourites was a teacher who claimed that a certain pose would "increase your metabolism and eventually change your DNA". Now I am not a medical professional, but that sounded pretty dubious to me!

Making dubious claims like this - things that seem to have no real scientific basis - can actually damage people's perceptions of yoga. Because when these claims are disproven or dismissed as being too fantastical, the other real benefits of yoga might get dismissed as well.

And yes, I know that there are some benefits of yoga that might not be capable of being proven by science but that you have nevertheless experienced and believe in. But you can express these without making them sound like a medical fact. Like, instead of saying that yoga will make you lose weight, maybe say that a regular yoga practice can make you more aware of what your body wants and can help you make better food choices. Sure that requires a bit of faith on the part of the student - but at least you aren't saying anything that is false.

I think that most yoga teachers have the best of intentions. And just because they might have done some of these things before doesn't mean that they are bad teachers. And yes, I am also sure that I will probably at some point fall into one or more of these traps myself.

But given that they bug me, I am sure that they bug many other students too. So I am going to at least try not to do any of them when I start teaching. And that is something, right?

How do you like your yoga?

Last month, I headed to Yoga Fest in Brisbane with a bunch of my fellow yogis-in-training - two whole days of yoga and yoga-related goodness!

While there was a pretty amazing variety of stalls selling hot chai, yoga clothes, mala beads, yoga mats and anything else yoga-ish you can think of, the real attraction was the jammed-packed schedule of yoga classes and workshops being held in 5 halls throughout the weekend. Everything from your yoga basics (meditation, pranayama, asana) through to your more specialised and/or out there (I didn't get to find out exactly what "metaphysical flow" involved - but I was certainly curious!) were on offer.

The trouble was, to fit it all into the one weekend, classes ran simultaneously in the 5 halls so it is impossible to go to everything. Plus, there is only so much asana a girl can do so you have to pace yourself!!! So I had to choose which ones sounded the most interesting and that they weren't on at the same time.

Cute yoga things on sale in the market

Given that I didn't know anything about most of classes being offered or the people teaching them, I just kind of went with what sounded the most "me". I am sure I misjudged a lot of the classes - and some of the ones that I thought would be amazing weren't quite what I thought they would be. But the whole experience made me realise that I do actually have a few strong preferences when it comes to how I like my yoga.

1. Nothing too hippy
Maybe it is because I grew up near Byron Bay - but if yoga is taught in a way that is too spacey or hippy, I am probably not going to like it. I have nothing against hippies personally - I am just not that into it myself. So if a class starts to fill with patchouli, dreads and fisherman's pants, I start to get very nervous.

This is not to say that I want yoga that is devoid of any spirituality. But I have my limits. And it usually starts with instructions to "waken my inner-godess" or to "feel myself expanding beyond the boundaries of my body". Just - no.

2. It has to actually be yoga
There are plenty of styles of yoga out there and I think that is totally cool. I am not a hatha purist who thinks we can't play with or slightly outside of the traditional asana practice.

But, that said, I am not keen on the yoga-hybrids - yoga-lates, barre, nia, sacred dancing, bikram... No. Noooo. And I don't want to try out Bollywood dancing either.

Hatha, vinyasa, yin, power, iyengar, kundalini, ashtanga - so long as it is still an actual yoga class, I will find something good in it.

Me and my mat, ready to go!

3. Nothing beyond "Om"
I love the sound of "om" being chanted by a room full of people all in the same zone. Maybe, now and then, it can be cool to throw in a few "shanti"s at the end too. But I don't see the point in sitting in class and trying to follow more complicated chants that I will pronounce incorrectly (if at all) that I don't understand in any event. I don't find it enlightening - if anything I find it embarrassing.

I am also kinda creeped out at the thought of sitting in a room full of people chanting with their eyes closed and that blissed-out look on their face. It is probably related to number 1 above.

So any classes with the words "chanting", "singing", "mantra" or *shudder* "kirtan" (which is the sanskrit name for call-and-response chanting) will not be on my hit list.

4. Music is a-ok
I know a lot of people don't like any music to be played while they are getting their asana on. Or maybe they only like the sounds of Tibetan bowls and throat singing. But I don't mind it. So long as it has been carefully selected so that it enhances rather than distracts from the class, I think it can really make the experience something special.

My favourite at Yoga Fest was a class called "Reggae Yoga" which was exactly that - a gorgeous vinyasa class taught to slow, groovy reggae tunes. Something about yoga and reggae makes me feel like I am chilling on a beach somewhere, even though I was actually just in a hall in Brisbane in winter with drizzly rain outside.

5. Celebrity teachers aren't necessary
Sure, it is kind of a buzz to be taught by a teacher that you have already heard so much about, whose articles you've read and photos you've seen in Yoga Journal magazine. But you can have just as good an experience by checking out a teacher you've never heard of but that is maybe trying something a little different. It might even be better!

I passed up on one of the more famous "yoga-lebrities" at the festival to go to something I had never heard of before and with a teacher I had never heard of - and I can't imagine that it could have been any better. Maybe it is because the big names don't need to try so hard. Maybe it is because their classes are so popular that they pack out the much bigger hall so you don't really get to feel much of a connection. Whatever it is, sometimes it is worth giving them a miss and giving the unknowns a go.

Is all pleasure just relief?

I have recently come back from a holiday. Which means, right now, I am feeling pretty relaxed and rejuvenated.

And while I was unwinding next to the pool, I came across a quote in the book I was reading that got me thinking about the nature of relaxation, pleasure and our perpetual pursuit of happiness. Strangely enough, it was 'Junky' by William S Burroughs:

"Perhaps all pleasure is relief."

He was talking about the pleasure and relief that junkies experience when they give in to their addiction after attempting to quit. While that is not an experience I am familiar with, I can definitely relate to the idea of having the main source of my pleasure or happiness being the release from a stressful or strenuous experience.  

Hell - often my holidays have felt like that. I will have been working so hard, doing longing hours and feeling like I am being pulled in all directions right up until the moment my plane leaves. And then - nothing. Days and days with no deadlines, no stress, no routine. I normally spend the first few days just catching up on sleep. And, if things have been particularly bad, I find that sometimes I will get sick thanks to adrenal fatigue and a poor, worn out immune system. 

But there is that feeling you get when something that seems unbearable - something that you are just white-knuckling your way through - finally stops. It is quite amazing, isn't it. And it can be pretty addictive. 

Back when I was an exercise junky, it wasn't just being ultra-fit or looking good that kept me going to the gym - it was that pleasure from relief that really kept me motivated. I used to get through a tough class or a long run by thinking about how good it would feel when I stopped. How great that hot shower would feel on my aching and exhausted muscles. How deeply I would sleep that night. And I would use this to push myself harder, knowing that it would make the reward all that sweeter. 

The trouble is though, as sweet as the reward might be, when you are seeking pleasure through relief, it is only ever temporary. And, of course, it comes at a cost - the pain and discomfort that comes from pushing yourself to the extreme, be it mentally, physically or emotionally. Hardly a sustainable path to happiness, is it?

But what if feeling happy was your normal state? Something that you just experienced every day. Is that even possible? 

Well, I am starting to come around to the idea that not only is this possible - it is possible for me! 

It isn't a quick-fix though, like you might get from drugs, drinking, a holiday, exercising, shopping or anything else we might use for a immediate dose of happy. You actually have to commit to being a happy person. And that requires a commitment to changing the things in your life that aren't serving you. The things that take you further away from feeling happy every day. You need to let go of old habits and introduce good ones. Which will required you to be disciplined and, occasionally, uncomfortable. 

Because, even though we might know on an intellectual level that the things we are currently doing are not making us happy in the long-term and may even make us feel worse - like eating too much, not exercising enough or exercising too much, working too hard, drinking to excess, gossiping about people, spending too much time on the internet - we find comfort in these things. These are things that we are familiar with and it can be scary to let go of them. 

Which explains why people go for the quick-fixes. They are a LOT easier! But, ultimately, they don't really work. And they won't deliver what you are really after - to be happy! 

So what could you be doing differently to start being happier? 

To make it less scary, try making a commitment to making just one change for the next 30 days, just to see what it feels like. If you want to, you can go back to your old ways afterwards.

But chances are, you won't want to. Instead, you might find that you have have replaced an old habit with a new one - one that serves you and brings you closer to the life that you want. And sure enough, you will be ready to make even more changes! 

Here's to a happy life - not just relief!