Smiley happy yogi

Ever since I started my yoga teacher training last year, one piece of sagely advice that I consistently receive from other teachers is to make sure I keep up my personal practice.

While it was clearly sound advice, I honestly thought it wouldn't be much of an issue for me. I mean, I LOVE yoga. There is no way that I would neglect my own practice just because I was teaching as well. If anything, teaching will just make me even more focussed on my practice.

Fast-forward 12 months, I am now teaching a couple of regular classes a week on the side of my fairly demanding full-time job. And my personal practice? Well, let's just say that it isn't receiving the kind of attention that it deserves. Yep. Everyone was right.

You see, when I'm not at work or teaching a class, I am planning my classes, trying to get more classes, volunteering to teach community classes or to help out at events - not to mention the admin that my new side-venture has created. Don't get me wrong - I am absolutely loving it (well maybe not the admin). But I feel like I am already yoga-ing all over the place before I even get to my own practice!

Motivation for my regular practice had definitely waned. Something that used to be an immense source of joy for me became something that I needed to fit into my week somewhere. Like jumping on the treadmill. Or doing the laundry.

Not great.

I had been aware that this was a less than ideal situation for a while but kind of hoped it would sort itself out over time. It wasn't until took a class with Eoin Finn (blissology.com) at the Sydney Wanderlust Festival (where I was volunteering of course!) that I realised what I needed to do to get me out of my yoga funk: Make it fun again!

You see, one of the side-effects of becoming a qualified yoga teacher was this increased awareness of every aspect of every pose that I do. As I move through my asanas, I had got into a habit of mentally checking off every point of alignment, constantly making refinements and perfecting my pose. I am even ticking off the contraindications and options that I could give to students if I was teaching the pose. Basically, every practice started to feel like I was prepping for an exam.

So when Eoin opened his class saying that we would be doing some kinda out-there, non-traditional moves (incorporating flowing transitions inspired by his love of surfing) my eyes lit up! The next hour or so was spent exploring movement, feeling into the poses and - yes - having a whole lot of fun. For the first time in ages, I felt like I could really get out of my head and not only into my body but also into my heart - letting my movements be led by what felt good instead of just doing what I was supposed to do.

Since that class, I have been on the look out for other ways that I can to bring more happy to my practice. I have been taking workshops, trying new classes, doing classes with friends and making new, upbeat playlists for my home practice. But perhaps the simplest way I have found is to just set an intention at the beginning of class to bring lightness to the class, to smile lots and to just not take it all so seriously.

Because at the end of the day, it's just yoga, right?

Namaste! xox 

How to deal

Something happened in my life last year that probably should have caused me to have a major emotional meltdown. And, if I am honest, for a few days it kinda did.

It was one of those knock-you-on-your-arse, punch-you-in-the-guts kind of ordeals that shakes your confidence and really makes you start to question your self-worth.

Nasty.

And it probably would have totally flattened me for months - maybe even years - if it had happened any earlier in my life. But instead, I bounced back incredibly quickly. Like - in less than a week.

This is because, lucky for me, it all happened while I was in the middle of two things:

• My yoga teacher training (in fact, the day after it happened, I spent the weekend in intensive training with my gorgeous fellow yogis); and 
• Reading the book "Spirit Junkie" by Gabrielle Bernstein.

Source: www.amazon.com

So instead of falling into a down spiral of funky badness, when I was confronted with this moment, I was prepared for it. Instead of letting this thing that was happening to me, however crappy, take me down, I was able to deal with it in a way that left me feeling ok. Look - I am not over the moon about it and I would have preferred if it hadn't happened at all - but have moved on. In fact, a lot of positive things have happened as a result that make me think that it was something that just *had* to happen so that I could move on to the next stage of my life. 

Aside from recommending that you undertake a yoga teacher training and reading Gabrielle's book yourself (ok - maybe reading the book is more doable in the short-to-medium term - but BOTH have changed my life for the better so it will be a great start).

I thought I would share some of the key insights that these gave me though to help me recover so quickly and to actually come out the other end feeling stronger and more sure of myself.

1. Let yourself feel
With life moving so fast, it can be really tempting to just shut down your emotions when something bad happens so that you can just keep going. We seldom have the luxury of time to allow ourselves to be absorbed in how we are feeling about a negative situation. Whether you tell yourself to "keep your chin up" or to "harden the f**k up", these are all ways that we tell ourselves that our emotions should be pushed aside.

But just telling yourself that you are fine doesn't actually make the feelings go away. And until you acknowledge how a situation has made you feel, it is impossible to get past it.

This isn't to say that you should drop everything in the middle of the office and chuck a total wobbly or disintegrate into a blubbering mess. But when you do have the time and space (and if this isn't looking likely make the time and space), let yourself feel all the emotions that have bubbled up. Cry. Be angry. Vent your frustrations out in a journal or to someone you can trust. Just let it all out.

But don't stay in this place too long. This ceases to be useful if you just dwell in a place of self-pity. So get it all out and then start to look at what you need to do next.

2. Recognise what is true
This is crucial to help you avoid a total downward spiral. Once you have allowed your emotions to appear and sat with them for a while, take note of those thoughts that keep coming up over and over. Meditate on them Write each one down on the top of a piece of paper. Underneath each one, jot down any thoughts that come up around them. Really deconstruct each one. And once you've got it all written out, read it back and try to read it as though a friend had written it all out. What would you say to a friend who was having these thoughts?

Chances are, you would tell your friend that a lot of these thoughts aren't real. That they are based on false assumptions, catastrophising (giving too much weight to worst possible outcomes, even though they are unlikely to ever eventuate) or negative thoughts about your self-worth. Which is totally normal when you are going through something bad - but if you don't get a handle on these thoughts early on, it can be hard to regain perspective and they start to seem like your reality - and may even become your reality if you give them too much attention.

Once you get a hold of what is real and what is not, whenever one of the negative thoughts comes up, resist the urge to ruminate on it and start to challenge what it is saying by using the words that you would say to your friend in the same situation. Eventually, the thoughts will lose their power until they stop showing up at all.

3. Surround yourself with good people

This is great advice at any time - but is especially important when you are going through a tough time. First of all, they will help you fight the negative, untrue thoughts that come up. They will also remind you how awesome you are and how whatever it is you are going through is just temporary. They will let you cry, let you get angry, give you sage advice, distract you, make you laugh - all those good things.

But for the time being, maybe say "no" to meeting up with that overly negative or competitive friend (or maybe, more accurately, "frenemy"). Trust me - you might feel a twinge of guilt when you turn them down, but now is the time to be there for yourself. So ditch the guilt, and put yourself first. Seriously.

4. Forgive - no matter how ridiculous that seems

While the other steps all helped me a lot, this one was probably key to me getting back up again after being smacked to the ground. And this is the one thing that I had never thought of doing before. Usually, I would blame myself or I would blame someone else. And I thought that was a good thing. Because it has to be someone's fault, right?

Well, maybe. And maybe not. But most importantly, it just doesn't matter. I'm going to repeat that because it is super important: It. Doesn't. Matter.

Gabrielle Bernstein swears by forgiveness to help you move forward. In her own words: "Rather than continuing to play the role of victim, we can forgive and be set free. With each choice to forgive, we shift our perception from fear to love."

Being angry or blaming someone else doesn't actually bring you any peace or make you feel better. And it has zero impact on the person that you are angry at. So what do you have to lose? Instead of holding on to these negative emotions, just release the person from your anger. You don't have to do it in person (that might actually be counterproductive). In Spirit Junkie, there is a meditation that you can use to help you visualise the person (or yourself) and start to breakdown the emotions that you are feeling towards them. You start to accept the situation for what it is (you don't have to take on the blame if you didn't do anything wrong - it is about releasing the other person, not saying sorry) and just let it go. Again - you might have to work on this for a while, but by shifting the way you think about the situation, you can actually start to heal and move on.

5. Shift your focus to the rest of your life

When something bad happens in our lives, it tends to suck up all of our energy. And while this is fine for a while, it you keep feeding the situation with all of your time and attention, it can be difficult to find a way out. So once you start to heal (using the tips above), start to refocus on all of those amazing things in your life. Don't think they exist? I am betting they do, but until you are in a place to see them, why not create something amazing in your life? Take a course, try a new sport, book a holiday, paint, dance, write - whatever will make your heart sing will also start to heal your pain.

I hope the above tips are helpful. I don't mean to make it all sound so easy - I know that it isn't. And it sucks!!! But by taking control and having a plan to get yourself back on top, you will be in a much better place than if you just let yourself get swept away by sadness and/ or anger.

Namatse my lovelies xox 

Resolutions that don't suck

Merry Christmas you guys! 

Now that Christmas is coming to a close for another year, it is time to put down that mince pie and start thinking about the new year that you are about to embark on.

Because no matter how crappy last year was for you, 2014 has something that 2013 hasn't got:

Potential!

Which is why, at the end of each year, we all feel compelled to come up with a list of things that we are currently failing miserably at with the hope that this will somehow make us more focussed on doing things differently in the new year.

Unfortunately though, notwithstanding best intentions, most people manage maybe a couple of weeks of sticking to their resolutions before going back to their old ways. At least until next year, when they start to think about it all over again.

I have a pretty woeful record myself. Giving up caffeine, going vegan (I ended up doing this but not off the back of a new year's resolution), exercising more, focussing on my career, reading more - all of them managed to keep me interested until about January 5 before the drudgery of day to day life made keeping my new resolutions seem unimportant and, to be honest, a bit of a pain in the arse.

But a few years ago, I decided to take a different approach. I had a pretty massive list of things to change or improve on in the new year. I wanted to do more yoga, eat better, be more organised, try new things, spend more time with friends and family, give more to charity (but do proper research first so my money went where it would help the most), draw, write, dance, sing and read more, see more bands, see more theatre blah blah blah. It was ridiculous. Way too much stuff to focus on for 5 days.

But each one was actually really important to me so I didn't want to just give up on them all together either.

So, rather than set myself up to fail (again) I decided that I would spread them out over the whole year instead. I picked one thing that I wanted to work on for each month of the year. This way, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about something that was on the list just because I hadn't done it in January - I knew I would be getting to it later on in the year (maybe)!

For example, February was all about work - getting more organised, finding out what training sessions were on, looking into getting an executive coach etc. I didn't have to get it all done by a particular date or anything - I just had to think about what I wanted to improve about my work life in February and set a few things in motion. September was devoted to yoga - so I decided I would try to do yoga at least once a day for the whole month (I think I missed three days), tried out different classes and signed up for online classes on YogaGlo so I could do more yoga at home.

So now, each year at the end of December, I make up a big calendar with all the different resolutions set out on it at the start of the year and I stick it up in my office. All year long I look at it to see what was coming up or maybe what I had accidentally skipped (oops!). Sometimes I might even get really excited about it - like the month that was all about culture where I got to book tickets to see lots of different plays, bands, talks etc that were coming up. The month about getting my finances in order, on the other hand, wasn't such a joy.

It isn't always a total success - some resolutions get pretty much ignored - but it was definitely better than the attempts I had made in previous years where I set one of two huge resolutions that take effect from 1 January. And because I get to keep doing things all year long, it is far more achievable and balanced than the usual approach.

So, of course, this year, I am doing it again! Here is what I have got so far:

This year is all about integrating my yoga teaching with the rest of my life. So the whole of January is dedicated to setting this up (as much as possible). I usually do health stuff in January because I feel so crappy after indulging so much of the holidays, but I need to get my business in order first. 

Would love to hear if anyone else has big new year resolutions planned - or if anyone takes up my year of resolutions idea. Drop me a line in the comments. 

Oh and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! 

xx 

What's your dream?

My yoga teacher training has finally started - yay!

Today was day two. I was incredibly anxious before starting - but that is nothing unusual for me. Anything that is unfamiliar and involves lots of other people makes me nervous. My belly was all full of butterflies and it felt like the first day of school. Which I guess it kind of was.

I had the usual first day worries: Like what if no one likes me? What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail? What if I don't enjoy it and it is all a waste of money and time? Blah, blah, blah.

But so far, so good! Everyone is lovely, I don't feel like I am in over my head and I am really loving it.

One thing that has become clear though is that the course involves more than just learning the skills to become a teacher. It is going to be quite a personal journey too with a lot of digging deep. And it is definitely looking beyond just the physical side of yoga - the asanas. We are gaining an understanding of all of the elements and how they can be integrated so that we can achieve increased flow throughout the body and a quietened mind. It is heavy but amazing stuff.

Today, a relatively simple exercise left me feeling a bit lost and, as a result, quite introspective. We were asked to discuss in small groups what our dream life would look like if there were no obstacles. Basically, let our minds go wild and put out to the world our greatest fantasies for an ideal life. What could be easier?

Some people seemed to have no trouble at all. They could articulate beautifully what their perfect life would be like down to the finest detail. And it was out-there stuff too. Global empires and what not.

Me? Well, I came up with some cool stuff, I guess. A house in the rainforest but also near the sea - perhaps in Bangalow. But I wouldn't live there all the time. Nooo. Because I would still have to keep my job, wouldn't I? I would work in the city and then, when I needed to escape, I could go to the house in Bangalow. Oh and I would have a dog in addition to my two cats.

Seriously. I let my mind run wild and that is the best I could do!?! A holiday home and a dog? Thing is, every time I thought of something cool - like living on a tropical island, teaching yoga and looking after stray kittens and puppies - this voice would come into my head saying "But you have to be realistic! Otherwise, you are being silly!"

It didn't seem to matter to me that the aim exercise wasn't to think about what I could realistically achieve. I was meant to be thinking big, thinking outside what might seem possible. I was allowed to be silly!

I found this to be really confronting. Like if I said something crazy, I would be ridiculed if I then failed to achieve it. Which is daft, really. Because when others shared their awesome hopes and dreams, my instinct was not to ridicule them. It was to encourage them. Their dreams sounded great. And I wanted to think of ways that they could actually achieve maybe even just one small part of their dream to help them on their way.

But I was still unable to think of anything for myself. I am just not sure what my real dream is. There is definitely a lot of work for me to do around this.

Hmmm...

So day two and I am already feeling challenged. Imagine where I will be by the end of the year!!