Is all pleasure just relief?

I have recently come back from a holiday. Which means, right now, I am feeling pretty relaxed and rejuvenated.

And while I was unwinding next to the pool, I came across a quote in the book I was reading that got me thinking about the nature of relaxation, pleasure and our perpetual pursuit of happiness. Strangely enough, it was 'Junky' by William S Burroughs:

"Perhaps all pleasure is relief."

He was talking about the pleasure and relief that junkies experience when they give in to their addiction after attempting to quit. While that is not an experience I am familiar with, I can definitely relate to the idea of having the main source of my pleasure or happiness being the release from a stressful or strenuous experience.  

Hell - often my holidays have felt like that. I will have been working so hard, doing longing hours and feeling like I am being pulled in all directions right up until the moment my plane leaves. And then - nothing. Days and days with no deadlines, no stress, no routine. I normally spend the first few days just catching up on sleep. And, if things have been particularly bad, I find that sometimes I will get sick thanks to adrenal fatigue and a poor, worn out immune system. 

But there is that feeling you get when something that seems unbearable - something that you are just white-knuckling your way through - finally stops. It is quite amazing, isn't it. And it can be pretty addictive. 

Back when I was an exercise junky, it wasn't just being ultra-fit or looking good that kept me going to the gym - it was that pleasure from relief that really kept me motivated. I used to get through a tough class or a long run by thinking about how good it would feel when I stopped. How great that hot shower would feel on my aching and exhausted muscles. How deeply I would sleep that night. And I would use this to push myself harder, knowing that it would make the reward all that sweeter. 

The trouble is though, as sweet as the reward might be, when you are seeking pleasure through relief, it is only ever temporary. And, of course, it comes at a cost - the pain and discomfort that comes from pushing yourself to the extreme, be it mentally, physically or emotionally. Hardly a sustainable path to happiness, is it?

But what if feeling happy was your normal state? Something that you just experienced every day. Is that even possible? 

Well, I am starting to come around to the idea that not only is this possible - it is possible for me! 

It isn't a quick-fix though, like you might get from drugs, drinking, a holiday, exercising, shopping or anything else we might use for a immediate dose of happy. You actually have to commit to being a happy person. And that requires a commitment to changing the things in your life that aren't serving you. The things that take you further away from feeling happy every day. You need to let go of old habits and introduce good ones. Which will required you to be disciplined and, occasionally, uncomfortable. 

Because, even though we might know on an intellectual level that the things we are currently doing are not making us happy in the long-term and may even make us feel worse - like eating too much, not exercising enough or exercising too much, working too hard, drinking to excess, gossiping about people, spending too much time on the internet - we find comfort in these things. These are things that we are familiar with and it can be scary to let go of them. 

Which explains why people go for the quick-fixes. They are a LOT easier! But, ultimately, they don't really work. And they won't deliver what you are really after - to be happy! 

So what could you be doing differently to start being happier? 

To make it less scary, try making a commitment to making just one change for the next 30 days, just to see what it feels like. If you want to, you can go back to your old ways afterwards.

But chances are, you won't want to. Instead, you might find that you have have replaced an old habit with a new one - one that serves you and brings you closer to the life that you want. And sure enough, you will be ready to make even more changes! 

Here's to a happy life - not just relief!

Keeping your face kind

I am going on holiday to the US and Canada in a couple of weeks. Cannot wait!

I plan on hitting all the shops, museums, art galleries and cafes that I can fit in while in New York City and also Toronto. Then, to end the trip, I am going to be in Hawaii, soaking up rays, playing in the surf and eating all the tropical food I can. And, of course, I will be trying out a few different yoga studios along the way.

Bliss!

One of the things that I will definitely be stocking up on while I am in the US will be cosmetics. Due to the high Australian dollar and also some really weird regulations in Australia, cosmetics can cost almost three times as much in Australia than they do in America. You can order some products online direct from America and save $$ that way, but a lot of them won't deliver here. So whenever I go to the States, I go on a buying frenzy and come back with at least a year's worth of cosmetics. 

Given that I am a vegan, it makes sense that I would also like the products I buy to be cruelty free. So I have done a bit of research first to make sure that I am only buying products that are worthy of my dollars. But finding information about who does and does not test on animals (either directly or indirectly) can be incredibly confusing and it changes all the time. While I thought I had been doing ok on this front, I recently became aware of a few brands that I had always thought were ok have now been added to the list of companies that DO test on animals or are affiliated with animal testing. 

Sad. Face. 

Why do so many companies continue to test on animals when there are proven, cruelty-free alternatives readily available? Well, it seems that one of the key reasons is so that the companies can sell their products in China - Chinese laws require animal testing to be undertaken on cosmetics that are being imported into China. 

So companies that had for a long time abolished animal testing - including Estee Lauder, Mary Kay and Avon - have now resumed animal testing of their products to gain access to the lucrative Chinese market. There are other big companies that are also involved in animal testing, including L'Oreal and Johnson & Johnson. These companies own a huge number of popular brands - which means that all of the brands that they own are also not 100% cruelty free. 

Some popular brands that are NOT cruelty free (according to the PETA website) include: 

• Aveeno (Johnson & Johnson)
• Bobbi Brown (Estee Lauder)
• Bumble & Bumble (Estee Lauder) 
• Clinique (Estee Lauder)
• Garnier (L'Oreal)
• Jo Malone (Estee Lauder)
• Kiehl's (L'Oreal)
• L'Occitane
• Lancome (L'Oreal)
• M.A.C Cosmetics (L'Oreal)
• Neutrogena (Johnson & Johnson)
• Revlon
• Shu Uemura (L'Oreal)
• SK-II (Procter & Gamble)

To all of these brands, I say BOOOOO!!!!! There are many other mean brands too - this is just a sample of some of the ones that I have previously purchased but will no longer be buying. It is worth checking the PETA website to see if your favourite brands are listed too. (And information and practices change all the time - so companies come off and on the list all the time. You should check the list regularly to make sure your brand is still behaving itself!) 

Ok. So that is depressing, right? But fear not! There are still some lovely, amazing, quality brands out there that do not test on animals!!! HOORAY!!!!!

Source: www.themescompany.com

To act on my beliefs via my credit card, I am only going to buying cosmetics from companies that are proudly cruelty free. I have made a list of some of the brands that I can happily buy so that I don't get confused by all the pretty colours when I walk into Sephora (if you aren't familiar with Sephora, it is this amazing super-store that sells pretty much every brand of cosmetics you could ever want - I can spend hours and many, many dollars in there). 

Here are some of my favourites:

• Urban Decay (this edgy, vegan, cruelty free brand is going to replace my M.A.C addiction).
• Stila (gorgeous colours, gorgeous textures, kind to all animals)
• Lush (natural, animal friendly and it all smells delicious - just try not to eat it)
• Kora (Miranda Kerr's organic skin care range that really works)
• Ultraceauticals (active ingredients for serious skin care, and cruelty free)
• Aesop (makes your hair and skin look great and smell amazing thanks to high-quality natural ingredients)
• Philosophy (another great skin care range that can deliver amazing results without needing to test on animals - and their shower gels are to DIE for!)
• Illamasqua (this brand makes amazing, innovative make-up, like the kick-ass blue lipgloss that I bought recently, without touching animals)
• Kevin.Murphy (given I won't be buying any more Bumble & Bumble hair products, this is going to be my new go-to, animal friendly hair care range)
• Manic Panic (the leaders in extreme, unicorn hair colours - pink, blue, green, orange, purple - it is all good)
• Butter London (nail polish in amazing colours, free from formaldehyde, toluene and DBP and is kind to the animals)

Source: www.freegreatpicture.com

Again, this is not an exhaustive list. If you want to know if a particular brand is cruelty free, first check out the PETA website. If it isn't listed on the list of companies that DO test and it isn't listed on the DO NOT test list, the next step is to check out the company's website. And if you are still unsure, email the company and ask them whether they test on animals. 

(It is also worth asking them if they supply to China because if they do, they basically HAVE to be testing on animals - even if the product supplied to you in Australia or elsewhere hasn't been tested. A dead give-away is if their statement is something like "We do not test our products on animals or use ingredients that have been tested on animals unless required to by law" - this is code for "We test on animals so that we can supply to China". BOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!)

They don't make it easy to make sure you are looking cute without hurting any animals - but it is totally worth it. 

Source: www.reallycuteanimals.co.uk

And the bunnies thank you!!!!! (And I do too!)

(PS - I made a decision not to add any pictures of the bunnies and other animals that have actually been subjected to testing. If you haven't already seen the horrific photos, I am sure you know, in your heart of hearts, that this testing is incredibly detrimental to the rabbits and that they suffer greatly just so we can wear a particular brand of mascara or use a certain shampoo. But if you happen to be curious, or if you are thinking that maybe it isn't that bad and companies wouldn't be doing anything too awful to these gorgeous, innocent creatures, have a look for yourself here. It will break your heart.)

Life beyond the asana

When most people think of yoga, they are thinking of the physical practice - the asana. While some may question how strenuous it is, it is generally considered to be a type of exercise. And, beyond a few breathing exercises and maybe even a couple of minutes of meditation at the end, this is how mainstream yoga is most often taught.

This has certainly been my experience in yoga classes. Up until recently, I would say that 90% of my yoga practice was dedicated to the physical practice.

Which was cool. I knew that the physical aspect was just one part of yoga - and that there was a lot that I didn't regularly practice or even really know about - but I got so much out of the physical side, that it didn't really bother me.

And no - I am not just talking about being more flexible or slimming down. I found that through my practice, I was calmer, more in control of my emotions, more focused, more energised, more positive, more in tune with what I needed (be it physically or emotionally). All good things that you didn't necessarily get from any other form of exercise.

So I must admit to be somewhat shocked and a little confused when, on the first day of my yoga teacher training, our teacher told us that he didn't really practice asana anymore.

Don't get me wrong - my teacher knows his asana. He has spent decades perfecting poses (I mean, he even used to practice and teach Ashtanga-style yoga, which is a very strong, physical practice). But, as he constantly reminds us in class, doing asana is not yoga - it is just one component of a greater system that is yoga. And it is only a small component at that. And, he has explained, he has reached a point in his yoga practice where generally speaking he doesn't need to practice asana.

But, if it isn't about handstands and backbends like we have all been lead to believe, what is yoga?

Well, at its core it is a system or method through which, if followed and worked at consistently and with dedication, we can reconnect with our true self. Which I know sounds a bit hippy. But basically it is a way of stripping back all of things that we identify with as being part of our "self" - the external possessions and our ideas and thoughts that make up who we "think" we are (i.e. the identity that we have created for ourselves - or let others create for us) so that we just be ourselves. And when we are ourselves, we can be the happy, loving and calm beings that we are all meant to be. Kind of nice, right?

To get to this point though, we need a strong, healthy and balanced body. Which is where doing a regular asana practice comes into it - stretching and strengthening our bodies to bring it into balance and remove any pain or tightness that keep us from feeling physically at ease. But that isn't the end of it. We also need to calm and bring ease to our nervous system, which we can do through regular breathing exercises (pranayama). And we need to bring stillness to our minds, which is achieved through meditation to bring our mind to a single point of focus. And we also need to act in a way that is kind, truthful and compassionate - both in our relationships with others and with ourselves.

When the bigger picture was explained to us in class, what struck me was that the yogic path was kind of where I was heading anyway - I just wasn't aware of it. This is not to say that I have been living this perfect, balanced yogi life up until now. But it is what I strive for - what I thought life should be all about. So all this time I had been thinking that I wasn't being a a proper yogi because I didn't really know what the 8 limbs were about, it turns out that I had been heading in the right direction all along!

But in spite of this revelation, I still can't picture me ever getting to a point where I no longer want or need to do my asana practice. It just brings me so much joy! I love how I feel after I have taken my body through a long and thorough practice. And I feel that it plays an important part in my larger yoga practice - it teaches me discipline and patience, it challenges my ego (especially when I face-plant in the middle of a full class), it makes my body feel strong, my breathing even and my mind alert and calm. And it can be fun! And I am pretty sure there is nothing in the Yoga Sutras that say yoga can't be fun (although, admittedly, I have not read - definitely do not understand - all of the Sutras yet).

So while I am enjoying learning and embracing all the other aspects of yoga, I am not going to be giving up my mat anytime soon.

Namaste!

Chocolatey goodness!

Happy Easter you guys!

Whatever your religious beliefs, most of us tend to indulge in a bit of chocolate over the Easter break. And I am definitely not an exception! Right now, I am basically experiencing what can only be described as a chocolate coma.

As a vegan, my Easter treats are a little more limited but there are still plenty of dairy-free goodies for me to get my chocolate on. And it just keeps getting easier to buy animal-friendly chocolate too - there are even vegan Easter eggs! Like this yummy Organic Times dark chocolate egg:

Source: www.biome.com.au

Nom!

It is important to note that not all dark chocolate is necessarily vegan - you have to read the label to make sure it doesn't contain milk solids or butter fats. The higher the percentage of cocoa, the more likely it is that it will be dairy free (but this still isn't a guarantee). It is worth searching for though and at least you know that, while you might be being a little bit naughty, at least you are getting a nice dose of antioxidants at the same time!

There is also another issue with our Easter noms that has got a lot more attention this Easter - the use of palm oil.

The use of palm oil is controversial as palm oil plantations have caused the destruction of rain forests in Indonesia and Malaysia, where around 85% of the world's palm oil is produced. This has resulted in habitat loss for a number of endangered species, including the orangutan. You can find out more about this here. Because of its direct impact on the welfare of animals, a lot of vegans avoid palm oil even though it isn't an actual animal product itself.

Palm oil is used in a lot of products - it is usually just listed as a vegetable oil so it is hard to know what you are buying. And this Easter, it was showing up in the ingredients list for a number of brands of hot cross buns - including Woolworths' and Coles' home brand varieties. This received a lot of negative press though so hopefully most people bought their hot cross buns from local bakeries instead.

Baked goods aren't the only thing that can contain palm oil - in the past Nestle has copped a lot of flack for using it in its chocolate.

One way to guarantee that you won't be getting any of these nasties is to make your own. Yes - even chocolate!

I was lucky enough to attend a special Easter yoga event this weekend at the gorgeous yoga studio, House of Yoga in Redfern. After sweating it out through a yummy 90 minute vinyasa class, we all got to indulge in some AMAZING homemade raw chocolate goodies.

I am not exaggerating when I say these were some of the yummiest treats I have ever tasted. I mean it - they were SO. GOOD.

Instead of being made with cocoa (which is what most chocolate is made from) they were all made using cacao. While they might sound like they are the same thing, the differences between the two are very important. Cacao is basically the seed that is used to make cocoa, but that hasn't gone through the cleaning, roasting and processing that cocoa goes through. So cacao is essentially raw. Why does this matter? Well, when it is processed, cocoa loses most of its nutritional value. Even if you eat dark chocolate, if it has been made with cocoa, it won't contain anywhere near the same levels of antioxidants and other nutrients that you get in cacao. In addition to high antioxidant levels, cacao also contains iron, copper, zinc, magnesium and calcium as well as a whole host of vitamins. 

The basic ingredients of cacao chocolate are cacao powder, cacao butter (not actual butter obviously - it is just the fat that comes from the cacao bean) and some kind of sweetener, like honey or agave syrup. The tasty treats that we were served up also had all sorts of amazing ingredients added in - coconut, almonds, dried figs, fresh ginger. All tasty and all super good for you! Win!!

But what if you can't / don't want to make it yourself (or be lucky enough to have yoga teachers that make them for you)? Well, you can buy chocolate made with cacao too so you have no excuses! My favourite is Loving Earth but there are lots of other brands out there and more and more are showing up in the shops as people learn about cacao's amazing properties.

Another easy way to get a dose of cacao is in powder form - I add it to my green smoothies to turn them into perhaps the healthiest chocolate thick shake EVER. You can also use to make up a hot chocolate - definitely something to keep in mind when it gets colder.

So, even though Easter is practically over for another year, you can totally justify getting your chocolate on all year round so long as you make sure it has been made with cacao (oh and, you know, blah blah moderation blah) aaaaaaand you can feel good about doing it! Yay cacao!!!!

Small changes, big difference!

Over a week has now passed since I started my yoga teacher training course. As I mentioned in my last post, the training goes far beyond the physical aspect of yoga (the asanas) and looks at the whole system of yoga (which includes pranayama and meditation).

That said, the training has still made some pretty significant changes to my asana practice. The changes haven't really been big ones - they have just been small refinements - but the impact they have had is quite remarkable. So here are the three things that I have learnt so far that have made the biggest difference.

1. Make friends with your bandhas 

I had heard yoga teachers use the term "bandhas" berfore, but to be honest I have never fully understood what they were talking about. From what I could gather, engaging my bandhas somehow involved keeping firm through my belly. Which, it turns out, is kind of right. But it is not the whole story.

There are actually three bandhas - one at the perineum (mula bandha), one just below the belly button (uddiyana bandha) and the third one at the throat (jalandhara bandha). The idea is that, by engaging or contracting these three bandhas (which is sanskrit for "lock") while you perform your asana, you are able to control the flow of energy ("prana") throughout your body. This helps you achieve balance and also supports and provides stability during your practice. (This is a very basic description - this website provides a pretty neat overview of the whole bandha situation if you want to know more.)

Learning how to properly engage your bandhas is complex and takes a lot of practice (and I am definitely still at the early stages of this process) but there are a couple of simple adjustments that you can do in pretty much any pose that will start you on your bandha journey and improve your overall asana practice.

First, start by drawing your belly button towards your spine. You have probably heard your teacher saying this to you in class during certain poses, but it is good to get into the habit of doing this throughout your whole practice. As an extra benefit, holding in through your lower belly like this will support your lower back and prevent you from overextending your lower spine when you are doing backbends. (Particularly important if you are hyper mobile through your joints - this will save you from very painful lower back SI joint issues in the long run. And trust me, prevention is WAY better than a cure when it comes to your lower back!!)

Second, focus on drawing up through the crown of your head. Together with holding in your lower belly, this encourages you to lengthen out your spine and create space in your body. When you are doing this, your chest tends to lift up and your shoulders drop down, helping you to achieve better alignment. Obviously, extending through the spine won't always be appropriate - for example, it isn't much use when you are in bridge pose or shoulder stand - but it is really useful to keep your torso extended and open in a lot of poses, for example most standing poses, forward bends and even in downward dog.

The final adjustment to make is to lower your chin towards your chest and to gently draw the front of your throat to the back of your throat. This again helps with aligning your spine by bringing your head an neck into line, and also assists if you are doing ujjayi breathing (that raspy sound that your teacher will sometimes ask you to make with your throat while you breathe during your class).

I have found that just by focussing on these three small adjustments during my poses I am able to achieve better alignment - but with less thinking! For example, in downward dog my mind used to go through pretty much every muscle in my body as I tried to get them exactly into the right position. Now, I just focus on getting these three things right, and everything else just seems to happen!

2. Slow down

There is a tendency amongst a lot of modern yogis to move from one pose to another with great speed - particularly in vinyasa and other "power" yoga styles. Maybe we feel like we get more of a work out when we quickly flip from one pose to the next, or maybe it is just a reflection of our busy, overworked lifestyles. But the truth is we are doing ourselves an injustice by whizzing through our yoga sessions. If you have taken the time out of your busy schedule to do a yoga session, why do you want to rush it?

You still get the same benefits if you take the full breath (that is, for a full count of four or so) to gently flow from one pose to the next. In fact, it often takes more strength and control to do your asana at a slower pace because you can't rely on momentum to swing your body into a pose. It also gives you more of an opportunity to get your alignment right.

The other benefit of slowing down is that it helps prepare yourself for meditation by really connecting your movement with your breath and allowing you to more deeply engage with the flow of energy throughout your body. Add this to the techniques set out in 1 above, and you are really getting somewhere!

3. Be still

When I hold a particular pose, I tend to spend the whole time constantly adjusting myself to move more deeply into the pose. I scan my body from bottom to top to bottom again, seeing if there is any area of my body that I can shift to improve the pose.

What this means though is that I never really get to just sit with a pose and enjoy it. I am always pushing, trying to get more out of it.

Now though, when I am holding a pose, I set my alignment up and then - I let myself just be still.

This is easier than it sounds - as an A-type, I naturally tend to want to push myself beyond my limits and to go further. But when I stop trying to force or further refine a pose, I find that I can actually enjoy my practice a lot more. I still work on my edge (that place in a pose where you feel challenged but not so challenged that you feel pain, you start shaking and/or your breathing gets shallow) but once I get there, I just surrender into it. And it feels goooooood.

I am really finding that just by introducing these three, relatively minor changes to my practice, my teacher training is already having a big impact. And these are definitely making me look at my asana practice in a different, more healthy way. I also find I am finishing my classes feeling more refreshed and balanced than I used to. And definitely feeling happier.

Which is kind of the point, right?

What's your dream?

My yoga teacher training has finally started - yay!

Today was day two. I was incredibly anxious before starting - but that is nothing unusual for me. Anything that is unfamiliar and involves lots of other people makes me nervous. My belly was all full of butterflies and it felt like the first day of school. Which I guess it kind of was.

I had the usual first day worries: Like what if no one likes me? What if I'm not good enough? What if I fail? What if I don't enjoy it and it is all a waste of money and time? Blah, blah, blah.

But so far, so good! Everyone is lovely, I don't feel like I am in over my head and I am really loving it.

One thing that has become clear though is that the course involves more than just learning the skills to become a teacher. It is going to be quite a personal journey too with a lot of digging deep. And it is definitely looking beyond just the physical side of yoga - the asanas. We are gaining an understanding of all of the elements and how they can be integrated so that we can achieve increased flow throughout the body and a quietened mind. It is heavy but amazing stuff.

Today, a relatively simple exercise left me feeling a bit lost and, as a result, quite introspective. We were asked to discuss in small groups what our dream life would look like if there were no obstacles. Basically, let our minds go wild and put out to the world our greatest fantasies for an ideal life. What could be easier?

Some people seemed to have no trouble at all. They could articulate beautifully what their perfect life would be like down to the finest detail. And it was out-there stuff too. Global empires and what not.

Me? Well, I came up with some cool stuff, I guess. A house in the rainforest but also near the sea - perhaps in Bangalow. But I wouldn't live there all the time. Nooo. Because I would still have to keep my job, wouldn't I? I would work in the city and then, when I needed to escape, I could go to the house in Bangalow. Oh and I would have a dog in addition to my two cats.

Seriously. I let my mind run wild and that is the best I could do!?! A holiday home and a dog? Thing is, every time I thought of something cool - like living on a tropical island, teaching yoga and looking after stray kittens and puppies - this voice would come into my head saying "But you have to be realistic! Otherwise, you are being silly!"

It didn't seem to matter to me that the aim exercise wasn't to think about what I could realistically achieve. I was meant to be thinking big, thinking outside what might seem possible. I was allowed to be silly!

I found this to be really confronting. Like if I said something crazy, I would be ridiculed if I then failed to achieve it. Which is daft, really. Because when others shared their awesome hopes and dreams, my instinct was not to ridicule them. It was to encourage them. Their dreams sounded great. And I wanted to think of ways that they could actually achieve maybe even just one small part of their dream to help them on their way.

But I was still unable to think of anything for myself. I am just not sure what my real dream is. There is definitely a lot of work for me to do around this.

Hmmm...

So day two and I am already feeling challenged. Imagine where I will be by the end of the year!!

It's all in your mind

While I would love to say that I have a regular meditation practice going on, this would be a total lie. At best, it could be described as sporadic or maybe occasional.

Incorporating 20 - 30 minutes of meditation into my daily routine has been one of my new year resolutions for god knows how long now. I have done meditation workshops and courses, read books on the subject, used podcasts - but nothing has really managed to ingrain meditation in my life.

But I keep on trying! Because I know that it is possible and I know that it is something worth having.

Regular meditation has many potential benefits, including stress reduction, lower blood pressure, improved sleep, increased concentration, pain management and emotional balance.

And while I am obviously no expert, I thought I would share some of the tips that I have picked up along the way - I'm going to be following them myself as I try to get back into it.

1. Start small and build up over time.  Sure, getting 20-30 minutes of meditation in daily might be best for optimal results. But if you try to demand that your brain sits still for half an hour straight off the bat, you are pretty much guaranteeing that you will fail. It takes time and discipline to get to that stage. So start with just 5 minutes and slowly increase the length over time. 
2. Find a space where you won't be distracted. It is hard enough keeping your mind on your meditation without external distractions getting in the way. Set up somewhere where you are unlikely to be walked in on, turn off your mobile (no, seriously - turn it off!), shut the door and, if there is a lot of street noise, maybe shut the windows too (so long as this won't make you too hot). It doesn't have to be perfect - absolute silence isn't something that is that easy to come by, especially if you live in a city - but the less distractions, the easier it will be for you to focus.
3. Be comfortable. Ok, yes - ideally you want to be sitting cross-legged with the weight evenly distributed through both sitting bones and your spine straight. But while you are getting started, this might be close to impossible. It can actually be quite demanding on your back muscles and your hips to sit still for so long. So maybe start off leaning against a wall or sitting in a chair. Try not to slouch though - you still want to stay as much in alignment as possible so that you can stay focussed. Otherwise, you may as well just hang out on your couch. You can lie down if it is the only way you can be truly comfortable - but you might end up napping instead of meditating which isn't really the point, so sitting up right is really the way to go.
4. Just breathe. There are many different meditation techniques out there but concentrating on your breathing is probably the easiest. Start with a few deep breaths to relax your body. If you still feel tense, mentally scan your body and check in with any spots of tension and consciously relax them. Once you feel settled, breathe naturally and start paying attention to your breath - how it feels when you draw the breath in, the subtle expansion through your stomach and chest and then the contraction as you breathe out. And then - guess what? You are meditating!
5. You don't have to clear your mind. Thoughts are going to come into your mind - that is just natural. The challenge in meditation is to just let them come in without getting caught up in them. Acknowledge whatever comes up, and then just let it go and gently draw your attention back to your breathing. This is going to be hard to do at the start - we are so use to just following whatever little idea pops into our head and then obsessing over it until some other thought pops in and takes over and so on and so on. What you are trying to achieve through meditation is to create space between these thoughts - so you don't just jump from one to the next. To begin with, you might be only able to draw your mind back to your breath for a few moments. But that's ok. The more you practice, the more you will be able to turn away from your thoughts and soon the spaces between will be much longer than the thoughts themselves.
6. Set an alarm. To stop yourself from wondering how long you have been meditating for, or how long you have to go, I suggest setting an alarm. Something nice and not too loud if you can so it doesn't make you jump when it goes off. I usually just use my iPhone and use one of the quieter alarm tones, like birds whistling or bells. Just set it for however long you want to meditate for. Don't be overly ambitious though - if you set it for 30 minutes on your first try, it will seem like forever and you are going to still be distracted by your watch to see how much longer you have to go. An alarm is also handy if there is a chance you could fall asleep. Or if you have somewhere you need to be. It cuts out a clear patch of time for you to commit to your meditation but still allows you to get on with your life. 
7. Keep at it.  It is the same as with anything, if you are going to develop a good meditation practice, you have to keep trying. Maybe do it every morning, when your mind is more likely to be calm and less-occupied. Just 5 - 10 minutes is fine. It is more important that you do it consistently. (Admittedly, this is the bit that I usually fail at but I do seem to do better with it each time I try.)

So I am going to commit to getting back into it starting tomorrow morning. Anyone with me? :)